Waiting and Remembering

I spend my time
Waiting for my coffee
With the other
Monday morning customers.
They are oblivious
To the girl
With the ransacked soul
In their midst.
My eyes are filled
With visions
Of him,
Of her,
Of them…
An endless nightmare
Replaying over and over
Until their faces blur
Into a whirling fog
Of betrayal
Wrapping itself
Around me,
A belt of treachery
Paralyzing my emotions.

The line moves forward,
And his pleading
For that second chance
Rings in my ears,
His denials
Of the truth
I plainly see
Tangled in the sheets
Of my bed,
As the crowd
Around me laments
The upcoming colder weather.

The line moves forward again,
And I return to
The long hours of weeping,
The hopelessness of living
In a world tinged with regrets,
The knowledge
I would gladly trade
For the blissful ignorance
I lost when I walked
Through that door.  

The line moves forward yet again,
And I find myself
At the counter,
The clerk’s smiley face sticker
Mocking my own stony expression.
He tries to engage
In his usual gentle flirtation,
But his charms are
Completely wasted
On my ransacked soul
Lying lost in my own
Confidential melancholy.