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Friday, March 2, 2012

Aging Gracefully?




It’s a conspiracy, I tell you.   

It all started 
With a few crinkles 
Around the eyes 
(Laugh lines?  Do I look like I’m laughing?) 
They must have decided 
They liked the scenery 
And stuck around.
And they invited friends.  
Great.  

Then the occasional ache
In my weary bones,  
Growing more and more frequent, 
Until the creaks and groans 
Became my morning mantra 
When rising to face the day,
Every day.  
Great.  

And the hormones, 
The hormones,  
Oh my God, the hormones!
I’m too hot.
I’m too cold. 
I’m too hot.
I’m too cold. 
I need a new thermostat!  
And those mood swings 
Have me looking 
Not to my doctor 
But an exorcist 
For assistance. 
Great.  

Oh, that cruel joke of gravity, 
Converting body parts 
From perky to plummeting?  
Not funny.  
Not cool.   

Mother Nature and Father Time, 
The banes of my existence, 
I demand a map, 
A schedule, 
Something to help me navigate 
This minefield of aging gracefully.  
You’ll be right on that, right?  

Great.

11 comments:

Mary Mansfield said...

OK, maybe this entry is a little more ranting prose than poetry, but I feel so much better!

Claudia said...

haha..nice..laughed at the wrinkles inviting friends..let them come and have a party...together with the hormones and everything...celebrating the wisdom and humor that comes with the aging as well...smiles

Brian Miller said...

a map would be nice...you could plan your life around them...ha...this was fun...but also the serious undertone...i hope when my time comes i do it with grace...i think there is beauty in all ages honestly

Mary said...

Oh, Mary, you have written a piece here with which many can identify. My favorite was the first stanza!

Charles Miller said...

I don't think it's rant. There's so much truth in it, and said with a bit of sarcasm. Your ability to capture the nature of the stuff that goes on at this time are so spot on. Being a spouse of someone undergoing the change, I know a little about it. This makes it even more real. Thank you.

Mystic_Mom said...

Mary - this is brilliant! You captured what we all want to say when we face the crinkles and less perkies. Wonderfully done!

Carrie Burtt said...

I can so relate to every line....from wrinkkles to plumeting! Love this poem....a wonderfully humorous way to look at a part of life that can be so unpleasant! :-)

rallentanda said...

Aging is great mentally but not so, physically.The gravity plumetting and sagging takes the shine off it a bit.
Youth is definitely wasted on the young.

Sheilagh Lee said...

I agree where's the map or the magic pill to make it go away? Natures' cruel joke.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

(Catching up very late, sorry.)

I can only say, as an old performance-poet myself (as we used to call it) this is a terrific performance piece! I think you must be no stranger to the spoken word. :)

Debi Swim said...

OK,so I am 'of that age' too. Time's stealth qualities could be a military top secret weapon - if it could be harnessed. I love your poem. It says,so amusingly, what it is to age.