Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Three Minute Wait

Image from Wikimedia Commons

Three minutes can become an agonizing eternity 
Alone in the bathroom at 4 A.M.  
I hold that white plastic stick like a talisman, 
Praying that the tiny spark of hope 
That always resurfaces at times like this 
Would not be extinguished once again
With tears of disappointment. 
After years of dealing with a malfunctioning body 
Flooded with deceitful hormones, 
I understood that crushing emotion all too well. 
I’m afraid to breathe, 
Fighting back another wave of nausea, 
Wondering if this could just be anxiety,
Maybe a touch of the flu, 
Or perhaps something more…
My hands shake as the timer rings 
And I glance down at the indicator, 
Terrified of what I'll find.  
In that moment, 
Two pink lines showed me 
That miracles can happen, 
Even to someone like me.

~~~ This poem was written for the latest prompt from Poetic Bloomings in their poetic memoir series, asking us to write about a moment that changed our lives.  The moment that I found out I was pregnant with my daughter Emily certainly qualifies.

I was diagnosed several years with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS.)  PCOS is a hormone disorder that affects an estimated 6-10% of all women.  Besides causing infertility in women, PCOS can also cause other symptoms including high blood pressure, insulin resistance leading to diabetes,  abnormal hair growth patterns, and obesity.  PCOS is treatable with medications, diet, and exercise, but there is no cure.  You can find more information about PCOS here.
Emmy at 2 months
Emmy age 11


Sherry Blue Sky said...

I LOVE this poem - the story of your miracle - and just LOOK at that beautiful baby sitting up so well at two months. And the happy confident young lady in the bottom photo. A really happy, feel-good poem and story, Mary. I am so happy you got your miracle!!!!!

Mary Mansfield said...

Aww, thanks Sherry! I distinctly remember that photo shoot when she was a baby with my arm twisted around under the blanket to hold her up, took hours for the muscles to unkink but so worth it! One of my fave pictures of her ever!

Mary said...

What a beautiful miracle she is!

Margaret said...

Just what I needed after this long day if melancholy. A burst if joy and hope. Finally. :). She is beautiful