Followers

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Unseen



No one saw her cobalt blue memories
Align with her emerging depression,
A vortex of sadness engulfing her,
Hooks sunk deeply into her soul,
The gaping sores that dot her mind,
Oozing poison through her days,
The demons swirling around her
An invisible barrier separating her
From the rest of the world.

No one saw her foundation
Begin to falter and vibrate,
The grind of the emotional weight
Giving the demons more power,
Not a wink of hope left in her world,
Any clear chance of redemption fading.

We saw what she wanted us to see,
Her illusion contrasting with actuality,
Her deception firmly imprinted on us.

And her final act?
No one saw that coming either.


~~ This was written for my own debut prompt over at Poetry Jam (be sure to pop over and check it out!) and also made use of this week's words from The Sunday Whirl.

18 comments:

Mary said...

Mary, you captured the soul of depression here, I think. And I think you are right when you say that people most often are blind to what is inside another person and only in retrospect, after some kind of 'final act,' do they see..... Well 'wordled' and well 'jammed.'

Jinksy said...

Oh, dear! I think my muse was stricken by the same feelings today! A powerful but sad piece... ♥

Daydreamertoo said...

Oh wow, this is deep, and dark. It sounds as if she killed herself. Fabulous grip on imagery.

Daydreamertoo said...

Great prompt at PJ Thanks!

Mariya Koleva said...

very sad. soul of depression as Mary said. sadly, loneliness is unseen to others.

Brian Miller said...

ugh this is heartbreaking...those that live in crowded loneliness only letting others see what they will while all the time wasting away...oy...blind for sure...

Jules said...

Ouch. Huge band aide time. My take on the ending is not so much her own, but that of some deed that may have destroyed something that could have given her comfort. Suicide often has many signs, granted often over looked. But also equally often shouted from roof tops so to speak.
Well wordled. I added to my latest story verse here:
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/05/sea-escape-4-for-monday-melting-16.html

Mary Mansfield said...

It's quite interesting to see the different interpretations on the ending of this poem. I deliberately left it unresolved, otherwise I would have absolutely drug it further into the murky depths for sure. I do hope that maybe her final act would be to radically break loose from the darkness in her life, make a complete change, but somehow I'm just not so sure myself.

Helen said...

Intense, deep, dark ... you are right about people letting us see what they want us to see. Beautiful poem.

Peggy said...

The feelings seem very real in this poem--hidden desperation. Excellent response to your excellent prompt--and the wordle words as well! I very much like the clarity in your work as well as the beauty.

Neha said...

eerily sad, yet powerful wordings. thanks for your review back at my blog :)

SaraV said...

Mary that is one powerful piece of poetry! Wonderful visual,visceral images and a perfect ending.

Thank you for coming by my blog and leaving such encouraging words.

Tracy Crenshaw said...

Beautiful poem. You made depression so vivid and almost tangible. And the end certainly packed a punch. So beautifully written.

Jules said...

I finally popped into Poetry Jam...
Here's my offering:
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/05/looking-through-that-third-eye-for.html

Hannah said...

I'm seeing what Mary saw and I thought it before I read her comment which just validated my thought even more. It is SUCH a painful illness. You captured this very well, Jules.

Hannah said...

I'm so sorry, I called you the wrong stinkin' name. I meant Mary of course. I apologize.

Sreeja said...

Oh me..depression gulped me ...powerful write....

Sherry Blue Sky said...

You captured depression exactly and I also assumed the final act was suicide. Interesting conversation this poem prompted!